Mea culpa, I baited you a bit with that title, sorry about that. Stick around though, let’s walk through this happiness business.
After spending my intro post trying to completely get myself off the hook from having to take any major writing risks on this platform, I’ve decided to start at the bottom with the super trivial topic of human meaning and self-fulfillment.
While there’s no single framework that will work across dispositions and a huge element of emotional state consists of biochemical processes not easily remedied by a think-boi Substack mental model about happiness - I am keen to share a framework that has so far worked very well for me personally.
This framework essentially relies on the old maxim of “do something you love and you’ll never work another day in your life.” While much of it will be intuitive, it’s something I had to figure out through trial, error, and reading over the last several years and now that I’ve mapped it out visually, I do find myself deliberately trying to sort choices through this framework - which is really all you can ask for.
Happiness is an imprecise word that actually maps to many variations of the concept in different peoples’ minds - and in fact there are likely many happy paths by which to live a life. The type of happiness I outline here is something akin to a “Self-Ownership” - which I find to be preeminently desirable - but which may not map well to other concepts like “Heroism,” “Service,” or any of the other many paths people might prefer for their life. I’m very deliberate in my use of this framework, but again I can really only speak to what works for me.
Axes
X-Axis, Motivation & Drive: Obligation / Compulsion / Pressure vs. Leisure / Self-Guided / Internally-Motivated
The X axis evaluates where the desire for a course of action comes from. Did you decide to do it of your own free will? or is someone else forcing you to do so? Is this what you would choose to do if you had no other competing interests? Does society expect this of you?
Y-Axis, Energy Use: Destructive / Unproductive / Stifling / Demeaning vs. Productive / Creative / Generative / Affirming
The Y axis evaluates whether or not the thing you’re doing is actually good for you. Are you doing something that adds value to your life? or does the course of action trap you there?
Quadrants
Lower-Left: Victim of Circumstance / Stability Trap
The lower-left quadrant is the most intuitive to explain and should really be avoided at all costs. These are the categories of activities which you simultaneously don’t want to do AND are actively counter-productive or energy-draining to your lifestyle. These are things that you often find yourself getting trapped in because you are simultaneously compelled to do so by others around you AND those other people may not have your best interest at heart. The lower-left contains things like toxic relationships, credit card debt, lifestyle ratchets, and being stuck in a dead-end corporate job.
You are simultaneously abdicating agency while also not advancing (or likely even actively harming) your long-term prospects. Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.
“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.”
Taleb
Lower-Right: Blowing Off Steam
The lower-right quadrant is an acknowledgement that nobody is just perfectly in flow at all times - and/or that the people that think they are always-on are usually super boring or not really that much fun to actually be around.
Olympic athletes bake rest into their training cycles. World class bodybuilders know when to take a cheat day. At some point the lumberjack needs to take a break to sharpen the axe.
The lower-right quadrant is an acknowledgement that sometimes you need to go drinking with friends, binge a series on Netflix, purchase something frivolous, eat cake, and talk shit.
If you do these things too much they’ll pull you back into the lower-left, but at the same time doing them within reason is actually the way you stay sharp.
Upper-Left: Facilitating Long-Term Goals / Darwinian Fitness
The upper-left is the “eating your vegetables” principle - but across all domains of life. Not everything you do at all times is going to lead to obvious and immediate self-actualization, there are often many intermediate steps of literal and figurative resource accumulation and fitness that need to be proven out on your path. Before you can do your life’s work you often need to pay your dues, get sufficient funding, have your affairs in order, have the sufficient training, etc.
The upper-left acknowledges that there are things that might not be the most individually exciting for you in that moment, but they are the table stakes to playing the game you are ultimately trying to win at. These can be things like accumulating savings, meeting new people (for networking, first dates, new friendships), working out, or learning a trade - these are low time preference endeavors.
While setting yourself up for success is important, it’s not the thing that actually gives life meaning. This is still the stuff you are supposed to do, not necessarily the stuff you actively want to do - and that’s the critical distinction. The upper-left quadrant is full of potential energy, but kinetic energy is what we live life for.
Upper-Right: Self-Ownerships / Legacy Creation
The upper-right is how you’re supposed to do life, it’s the texture that gives the whole thing meaning, it’s the thing we all work for. The upper-right is all the stuff you both want to do and is good/enjoyable for you - it’s the legacy you leave behind.
The upper-right is what people make art and writing about. It’s physical feats and professional accomplishments. It’s making beautiful things for their own sake (l’art pour l’art). It’s romantic love, children, and great dynastic houses. It’s great friendships and conversations. It’s building, growing, and making things that last. It’s a beautiful backyard garden that brings you peace; it’s terraforming Mars or Titan. It’s greater knowledge of world and self.
I don’t have more to say other than the fact that it’s really hard to get to the upper-right and stay there. I hope you spend as much happy time there as you can.
What Does The Good Life Look Like?
So, how do we actually apply this framework?
The quick and dirty of it is that you want to do everything in your power to avoid the lower-left and stay in the upper-right. Acknowledge that while different, the lower-right and upper-left are both necessary intermediate steps to help keep or get you into the upper-right.
Most of this will come intuitively to the reader and indeed it originally did to me as well. Still, after having actually mapped the framework out, I find myself using it literally all the time. I actively place activities and decisions into the framework and ask myself the motivations for an action and how it will serve me and those around me.
Be wary of those who seek to give advice, ask instead how they live and make decisions. I can’t tell you to apply this to your life, but I can tell you that I am personally striving to live as much of my own life in the upper-right hand corner. I hope to meet you there.
-Colin